Family

Graphics courtesy of Cooks Hill CounsellingOpens in new window A family is a group of people who are affiliated or related (by blood or marriage). Many theories about emotion and interpersonal relationships cite the importance of early childhood experiences, including behaviors and dynamics modeled within one’s family of origin.

British psychiatrist John Bowlby proposed that attachment—the early bond between a baby and its primary caregiver (parents and others who cared for the baby)—sets the stage for future emotional relationships, especially intimate relationships (Fraley & Shaver, 2000).

Unhealthy relationships may exist in dysfunctional families in which conflict or abuse (e.g., domestic violence) occurs regularly.

A family’s ability to resolve conflict depends on communication skills and family schemas—ingrained beliefs about family functioning and individual’s roles within the family.

Family schemas include a set of shared beliefs about interrelationships between family members, division of labor, standards for dealing with conflict, boundaries, privacy, and how to deal with individuals outside the family unit. Family members influence each other’s emotions, thoughts, and behaviors.

Family schemas shape family dynamics (interaction patterns) and influence the ways in which family members learn to manage and express emotions (Dattilio, 2005). Dynamics in an individual’s family of origin influence future relationships. People who grow up in dysfunctional families may repeat detrimental behavior patterns in future relationships.

Parenting practices and styles are important to the development of self-esteem in children. In a study looking at construction of family narratives (stories), it was found that a higher level of mothers telling stories about positiveOpens in new window and negative emotionsOpens in new window was related to the development of positive self-esteem in preadolescent children (both sons and daughters; Bohanek, Mann, & Fivush, 2008).

Children learn about emotional regulation—how to manage their emotions—by observing, especially modeling of behavior by parents and other family members.

For example, when parents often display anger toward children in frustrating situations, children are not likely to learn effective ways to regulate their own emotions or socially appropriate ways to respond to frustration.

Children exposed to a high level of negative emotionOpens in new window within the family (e.g.., when a mother suffers from depression) may have less effective coping strategies to deal with negative emotions. Parenting practices that influence a child’s abilityto regulate emotion include emotion coaching and emotion dismissal.

Parenting practices that are punitive or dismissive of emotions tend to promote inappropriate emotional regulation abilities in children, while emotion coaching promotes positive emotional regulation strategies (Sheffield Morris et al., 2007).